Will Power

I am fascinated by the etymology of words. Words hold a vibrational energy of the intention in which they are used. For the purpose of this blog post, the intention of the word ‘will’ is rooted in the Old English meaning determination, purpose, desire, joy and delight. The intention of the word ‘power’ is Old French, povoir, the noun use of the infinitive, meaning to be able. As you read this blog, I invite you to keep the intention behind my use of the words ‘will power’ in mind.

I am a prolific night time dreamer. For many years, I had dreams of houses that were filled with clutter. I would have dreams of packing to travel and I would miss my flight as I was still packing endless bags as the plane left the gate. The vibration of the energy in these dreams was dense. I would wake up feeling overwhelmed and weighted down. I unconsciously created a clutter-free outer life. My house was clutter-free compared to my dreams, and when I traveled, I packed consciously. I now see how I was meeting my need of balance, but I didn’t know that is what I was doing at the time I was experiencing the dreams. I simply despised clutter in my life. I had no issue with being in others’ clutter for short periods of time. I was very clear: another’s clutter was not my responsibility. I was a brilliant organizer and that was how I managed overwhelm in my outer world. As long as nothing interfered with my clutter-free world, I was okay. But when my world was messed with, I was not okay.

When I studied Jungian dream analysis and worked with my own dreams, I became aware that my dream world was giving me profound messages about my inner state of being. I woke up to the truth that all the control I had mastered in the outer world was not serving my inner needs. I needed to have complete control of my outer world to feel safe and okay inside. I had set myself an impossible task. I had distanced myself from the core of my being, my soul, and was completely dependent upon my ability to control the outer world. I thought I was the master of control but it was all an illusion.

I wasn’t an avid collector of stuff in the outer world, but in my inner world, I was not only a collector, I was a hoarder. I was a hoarder of intergenerational stories along with all the beliefs, patterns and emotions they generated, hence the cluttered houses and excessive baggage in my dreams. At the time, I had no idea that buried beneath all the clutter of stories lay the wounds that were in the driver’s seat of my life. At that time, I didn’t know I was the creator of my life and that I had created this internal mess. I just knew the mess was inside me and I needed to clean it up. I made the choice to do the inner work and liberate myself. That involved will power as well as compassion for self.

I had teachers and guides that supported me to unravel these stories. One of my biggest challenges was resistance. I made it very difficult for myself by resisting. I am so grateful that my guides were truly archetypal guides with endless unconditional love and patience. By exercising my will power and growing it, I released attachment to resistance. In the process, I came to understand it was simply another way I protected the wounds that lay with in.

Working through resistance was a process. Once I became aware, I could then explore my resistance to better understand it. With this understanding, I could then identify why I was unconsciously using it as protection. I learned that when I felt resistance, to allow it space and accept that it had served me.  As I worked through this process, I was sending a clear message to the Universe that I was ready to engage with life with love instead of fear. With practice, I developed my will power and deepened my relationship with trust. I trust myself and I trust that life supports me and serves my highest good. Now, when a story, a pattern or an emotion rises from my unconscious and there is no resistance, it transmutes instantly. If it doesn’t, then I know I am resisting and apply the Birth Your True Self process. With practice, I have become proficient at using this process in my own life and guiding others through it.

When I am clear in my inner world, the energy can flow freely. There is nothing for it to get hung up on; however, if there is an unexpected snag, I trust it will be cleared. You don’t have to be special to clear your inner clutter. Anyone can make the choice and use their will power to do the inner work required to clean up the mess within. The caveat is that you are the only one that can become aware of and heal the wounds that are the root of your suffering. You are the only one who can use your will power to commit to the clearing process. The payoff is that then you are able to consciously choose what is stored within.

There is a Universal law that what is in the micro is in the macro. I clear my inner clutter and simultaneously I am clearing the clutter in the collective. I exercise my will power by making a conscious practice of only storing what serves my soul path, serving my highest good and the highest good of others. This practice enables me to shine my light brighter and brighter. 

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