Deepening Connection
It is natural for human beings to seek connection. However, I have witnessed many women prostitute and sabotage their power to belong — often unconsciously. I have experienced it in my own life as well. What does prostituting and sabotaging your power look like? It shows up in the diminishing of your soul, when you dim its light to fulfill the ego’s agenda to fit in, to belong, to be a part of. This pattern expresses itself in many ways. Perhaps through a career where you have incredible skills, but it does not light you up. Or perhaps you are in an intimate relationship where you love your partner, but you feel stifled to grow and expand because your values are not honoured. Imagine that you have a key to open the door into a space where you could be your true self, shine your light as brightly as you choose and experience deep connections with others. Would you use the key to open the door? If your answer is yes, then, what I share in this blog has the potential to support you to turn the key and open the door into deeper connections.
Over the past four years, I have been invited to share a number of conversations with women who have chosen to be entrepreneurs. Through those conversations, we explored the story of ‘not enough’ and how this story was impeding their ability to connect. This story impacted their relationship with themselves, how they showed up in their business, how they related to their colleagues and clients, and it impacted how money flowed through their business and through their bank accounts. These powerful conversations were the catalyst for me to create an exercise to help them understand how the story of ‘not enough’ expressed through them. The truth is, no one can transmute this story for you. This is a story that is intergenerational, and whether you are an entrepreneur or not, this story impacts every aspect of your life, so when you transmute this story within yourself, it changes your whole life.
Today I am sharing the exercise that was birthed from those powerful conversations.
What is the story of ‘not enough’ costing you?
To answer this question, you need to be aware of how you are unconsciously living out this story. This means looking at the intention behind what you think, feel, say and do as you work through these questions. This is an exercise in being microscopically honest with yourself. This is a story generated by survival consciousness, so if you experience resistance, judgement, justification, seeing the patterns in others but not in yourself or making up a cover story, these are all big clues that the survival archetypes (saboteur, victim, prostitute) are in action to keep the story of ‘not enough’ intact. If you want to break through this story and birth your true self, you will need to acknowledge what comes up and keep going. This story is not your identity but it impedes you from being your true self.
Connection with Myself
1) How do I engage with myself on a day that is flowing smoothly? On a day that is challenging?
2) Do I compare myself to others? Do I judge myself? When?
3) Where in my life do I feel I need to be more or do better? What is the measuring stick I use to determine being more or doing better?
4) How will I know when I am enough? How can I be sure that is enough?
5) What is the cost of not being true to myself?
6) Where in my life am I being my true self? What does that feel like? Does my body constrict, or expand?
Connection with my Body
1) What is my relationship with my body?
2) What are my beliefs about my body? Do I appreciate how miraculous my body is, or do I take it for granted? Do I support my body to be its potential?
3) Do I have expectations of what my body should be? How do I feel if it doesn’t meet my expectations? Where do those expectations come from?
4) Do I acknowledge and meet my body’s needs when they are expressed? Is my body a priority, or do I allow circumstances to dictate when it is served?
5) What is the cost to my body? To my life?
6) How is connecting deeply with my body supporting me to be true to myself? What does that feel like? Does my body constrict, or expand?
Connection with Others
1) How do I engage with family, partner, children, friends? Am I serving them and their needs? Do I expect them to serve me and my needs?
2) Do I think they are enough, or do I have expectations of them to be more so my needs can be met?
3) What is the measuring stick for them to be enough for me? If they became who I need them to be, would that be enough? Am I making my relationship about me or am I respecting their autonomy?
4) Am I loving them unconditionally, or conditionally?
5) What is the cost to me and to others?
6) How am I connecting with others as my true self? How am I showing up as my true self in my relationships? What does that feel like? Does my body constrict, or expand?
Connection with Money
1) What are my beliefs around money? Are they rooted in lack and limitation?
2) Is my joy and love of life dependent on having enough money?
3) Do I spend money, or do I circulate money?
4) Does money allow me to have what I need and want, or does it support me to create the life I desire to live?
5) Where am I giving my power to money, and what is the cost?
6) How does money support me to be my true self? What does that feel like? Does my body constrict, or expand?
Connection with Soul
1. Do I believe that I am separate and it is up to me to figure it all out and get it right?
2. Do I trust my ego to serve my highest good? Do I trust others to know what is best for me? Do I trust myself to know what is best for me?
3. What is the cost of giving my power to ego? To others? Not trusting myself?
4. Am I aware of my soul and its infinite wisdom? If so, how do I connect with my soul? Do I have a practice of connecting with my soul daily, to deepen connection?
5. Do I value and trust my soul’s wisdom when I am making big life choices?
6. How does my connection to my soul support me to be my true self? How does that feel to know that my soul supports me to show up fully in my life? How does my body respond? Does it constrict, or expand?
If you have answered all these question through a microscopic lens of truth, you now have a deeper understanding of how the story of ‘not enough’ expresses through you, how it impacts your life, where you are dimming your light, and the cost. You may have discovered that in some areas you have a deeper connection than in other areas. For example, you may have a deep connection with your body but less of a connection in the other areas. You have the power to transmute this story in all aspects of your life, and if you completed this exercise, you have begun the process.
If you would like to continue the process of transmuting this story, I invite you to visit my website and learn how the Birth Your True Self process is a key to opening the door, liberating yourself from story, and to experiencing deeper connections.