Life's Extraordinary Gift
The Crone is a symbol of inherent wisdom. Although the Crone is the harbinger death, she is also responsible for birth and new life. She is our archetypal midwife.
AUGUST 1998 . PARRSBORO, NS . AN EXPERIENCE WITH A PSYCHIC
Dear Journal,
This was a first for me. I have never been to a psychic before so I used my own psychic ability to read her. Of course, she knew I was reading her. After sharing a hearty laugh and knowing I could trust her, my reading began. As the reading unfolded, it seemed to be an affirmation of what I already knew, but then as I stood to walk to the door, she put her hands on either side of my face — as you would a child — and looking deeply into my eyes she said, “You are going to experience great joy.” I was surprised. I left with so many questions. What was she talking about? When was I going to experience great joy? What does joy feel like? Would I know it if I felt it?
Love you,
Karen
NOVEMBER 2015 . NOVA SCOTIA . JOY
Dear Journal,
I spent the weekend at my favourite retreat centre in my favourite Nova Scotian forest with a group of incredible women.
I arrived feeling the presence of death energy and at the same time feeling the niggling of new beginnings. This weekend, I was able to verbalize to a close friend that I was closing my birth practice. It felt good to say it out loud and be witnessed. Now it is real.
I had no idea what to expect from this retreat this weekend. I was literally in the unknown and quite comfortable to just be with whatever unfolded. Just being in my favorite place, my favorite caterers preparing the meals, sharing a room with a beautiful friend, I knew everything would unfold in perfect Divine order.
During the weekend, I had the opportunity to be creative. I had a gigantic piece of white paper in front of me and was free to create with a variety of mediums. At first my inner child felt overwhelmed. What if she didn’t get it right? I was very gentle with her. I gave her space to express her fears and then I assured her that this weekend there was absolutely no way to get it wrong. No matter how this piece turned out, it would be exactly what it needed to be, and we began. I saw spirals so I created spirals. I saw words and I drew upon my fine arts training to letter them beautifully. I saw hearts and I created hearts. I saw a thick cord that needed to run through the entire piece so I created that. As images would come that were calling to be added, I would find exactly what I needed in the art supplies that had been made available. I stood in awe and wonder at what I had created, and I knew it was not complete. There was a word, one word that needed to be written over top of what had been created, three times. It was a vibration that I did not know the feeling of in my body. I hesitated, thinking this was not the right word, but it was the perfect word. I picked up a wide paint brush, wet it and dipped it in the paint and poised my hand to execute the word perfectly on the paper three times. As the letters spilled on to the paper, I could hear the psychic’s voice in my head saying, “You are going to experience great joy.” My creative piece was complete, and I had a smile on my face and an unfamiliar feeling in my heart, and from the depths of my being I knew it and it was joy.
Then it came time to share my creation with the group. My child was hesitant. Would she be judged? What if no one liked it? I held space for her fears. I listened as she expressed what she was feeling. I am holding your hand little one. What if we just take the risk. After all we love it and it fills our heart with joy. What if we just simply hold the joy in our heart and share from that joy? She agreed. The joy multiplied in the sharing.
What a magnificent gift this weekend retreat has been. I have a feeling that I am embarking on a journey where I will be experiencing more joy.
Love,
Katharina
SPRING 2016 . DARMOUTH . TAROT READING
Dear Journal,
What an interesting day. I had never been to a Psychic Fair before. I found myself reading the room and the people in it. I was very aware what aligned with my truth and what didn’t. I came to a booth where a woman was doing Tarot Card readings. I have never had much of an interest in the Tarot but she sparked my curiosity and on a whim, I booked a session. While I waited for my session, I learned that she had been a Jungian psychoanalyst for many years. I learned that we knew some of the same people, people who had been my teachers and who I respected greatly. Now my interest was really peaked.
As she turned one of the cards, she looked me right in the eyes and said, “You are going to experience great joy. I can’t tell you when, but I can tell you I have never felt joy at this vibration around anyone before.” Somewhere deep within I knew what she spoke of, and I could not stop smiling. As I stood to leave, she hugged me heart to heart and thanked me for giving her the opportunity to do a reading for me. The experience had brought her tremendous joy. We had served each other.
Now my friend, does it not seem a little odd that the same message would come to me again. I am curious.
When is this ‘great joy’ going to show up in my life?
Love,
Katharina
JUNE 2016 . AUSTRALIA . PURE JOY
Dear Journal,
My granddaughter’s head was crowning. She was still snug in the amniotic sac with it stretched tight over her scalp. My hand was on her head. Connection! Pure joy! I could not stop smiling. As the birth experience unfolded, the joy grew, and when I held her in my arms, I thought my heart was going to burst. I had never experienced so much love and joy.
Love,
Katharina
NOVEMBER 2018 . AUSTRALIA . GIVER OF LIGHT
Dear Journal,
Today was the last day of a week-long retreat, and I had the opportunity once again to be a channel of coherent healing energy. Six of us encircled the healee. I was at her feet, and as the energy flowed through me to her, I felt like my body was on fire. When energy stopped flowing, there was silence. In time, the healee stirred and as she raised her head, our eyes met. There were no words needed as we were connected soul to soul. The love and joy were palpable. I slowly rose to my feet. The love and joy continued to expand as it flowed through me. I could hear the psychic’s voice. “You are going to experience great joy.” All I could think of was the Spanish phrase, ‘dar a luz’, which means to bring light forth/to give light. Being a giver of light — a giver of life — gave rise to more joy than I have ever experienced before. Just when I think I can’t possibly experience more joy, life shows me I can. I am curious now. How much more can I experience?
Love you,
Katharina
OCTOBER 2022 . HALIFAX . LIFE’S EXTRAORDINARY GIFT
Dear Journal,
My alignment with joy is simply a process that is still unfolding into greater and greater joy.
The ‘great joy’ spoken of in the messages, has always been within me. I simply needed to feel worthy of experiencing it. The first task was to align with the truth that I was worthy of both giving and receiving. When I gave of myself conditionally to prove my worth, to prove that I was enough and what I had to give was enough, I was actually saying I don’t feel worthy. If I felt worthy, there would have been nothing to prove. When I was trying to prove my worth, I was saying, I am not worthy of receiving. Knowing that I am worthy, I give unconditionally and I receive unconditionally.
I also had to discern the difference between joy and happiness. I experienced happiness in irregular spurts. For example, I was happy if all was well in my world, or I would be happy when I had achieved my goal. Happiness was very much generated by my ego. It was dependent on the circumstances unfolding outside of me and very much something I sought. I could be happy and the next moment I would be feeling another emotion that had been triggered by whatever had happened in that moment. Happiness was conditional. For example, if I wasn’t happy, I had a difficult time celebrating others’ happiness, and when things weren’t going well for someone, there was little room for compassion.
Joy on the other hand, has no connection to what is unfolding in my outer world. I don’t seek joy. It is a state of being that arises from my connection with my soul — with spirit. Joy is ever-present and continues to expand when I engage in experiences that light me up. Joy for others celebrating the goodness in their lives simply flows through me. It is so easy to celebrate them and share joy, and it feels natural to have compassion when things are not going well for another. Joy is unconditional.
The wisdom gleaned from this journey is that it is not the gift of life itself that is extraordinary. It is how I choose to use my life that makes the gift extraordinary. Giving light — giving life to another — that is what ignites ‘great joy’ in my heart. The more I give, the more I receive. The brighter I shine my light, the greater the love and joy.
Love you,
Katharina
SELF-AWARENESS QUESTIONS
1) Do you look outside yourself for things to make you happy?
2) Does your level of happiness depend on what is unfolding in your life?
3) When do you experience joy in your life? What lights you up?
4) What connects you to your soul?